The extremely serious thought process of almost making a fake Instagram account to stalk someone

FUCK why am I like this

This is NOT okay

(I think)

Lots of people do this right

But then would I still be a unique human being if I did what everyone else did and

Participate in the same definitely weird cultural rituals as everyone else does and

Give up any remaining shred of dignity I have to indulge my base interests but,

Like, he’s really cute, lol

What if I miss some important information like

If he’s dating someone and they pop up on his story and

I miss it and

I try to talk to him or something and

He’s like what the fuck are you doing get away from me you crazy bitch and

Thinks I’m creepy forever and everything could have been avoided if

I just saw someone on his Instagram story and gave up my dreams

But making some fake account is kind of an obvious move right, like

I’d have to invent some kind of fake profile — or maybe just make it private but

I’d still have to add a profile picture to not look suspicious and

Who has time for that and

He probably doesn’t check who watches his stories anyway

(I think)

So maybe it’s not the moral high ground but it’s also not the moral low ground

It’s more the moral mid-ground and

Is this really where I draw the line like

When does it officially start to get creepy anyway I mean

What’s the Oxford English Dictionary’s definition of ‘stalking’ because

I feel like they don’t update it enough so Instagram probably doesn’t count yet right

That means I’m clear

For now

(I think)


Fuck it I’m tired

I give up.

(For now)