Dear Past,
The world has gone haywire. Just look at the pitiful state of romantic relationships. Divorce rates are soaring and wedding vows no longer mean what they used to. We live in a non-committal nightmare, afraid to ask for what we want and unhappy with what we have. You offered something so much better: crystal clear purpose that no one questioned. You presented heartthrobs such as William Darcy and Prince Charming; You championed courtly love between knights and ladies.
Here we are now, reduced to ‘Netflix and chill’ as we swipe left or right on a plethora of anonymous photographs. You had fate, destiny, and soulmates, we have compatibility algorithms with a 20 per cent success rate. You had love at first sight, and lovers communicating by pen from across oceans; We have Internet vetting and conversations written entirely in emojis. We exist in a Tinder-ridden dystopia, the effects of which ripple far into our distracted lives. So, with a humble heart, I write this letter in attempt to woo you back.
We long, dear friend, for the golden days of romance. Seriously, what happened to chivalry?
Well, somewhere along the way, damsels decided it was just as legitimate to aspire to be Malala as Sleeping Beauty, and prince charmings ceased to accept societal standards for masculinity indiscriminately. While those who do not conform to your standards still face barriers and stigmatization, society is slowly breaking down conceptions of binary gender, sexuality, and romanticism. People routinely decide not to get married, and to enter into relationships on their own terms.
However, all this progress aside, don’t we all long for the good old days? The days when you could expect to have a conversation over dinner uninterrupted by the persistent buzzing of cell phones?
Ah yes, the good old days were far superior. We can do without the gains made by feminism, can’t we? Sure, women are finally proving that their value goes beyond bearing children and homemaking. In this space and time, the trend away from young marriages allows women to pursue a higher education and build careers. Men, meanwhile, are granted parental leave, and benefit from the gradual eradication of crushing expectations placed on them by the patriarchy. But wasn’t it much simpler, dear past, in your time? Husbands were meant to be the breadwinners, and wives stayed at home. Weren’t divorce rates so much lower when marriages were asymmetrical arrangements?
Today, people routinely choose to have fewer children, or none at all. They pursue careers, volunteerism, and travel; they experiment with love, sex, and relationships in free, enlightened ways. Your romantic dream of a linear progression from meeting, to marriage, to children is under threat. Modern lovers might even help curb the population problem.
For some reason, friend, society seems to be diverging from your heteronormative, misogynist path, and moving on to something new. And yet we are consumed by an impersonal, detached dating climate. Is it really worth the tradeoff?
(Yes, yes it is. Good riddance)
Sincerely,
Rida