Etiquette Squirrel

Dear Etiquette Squirrel,

I’m a fourth-year science student, and fairly studious. Lately I’ve been noticing a higher-than normal influx of requests for notes from classmates that didn’t make it to lecture. How do I tell them I’m not their scribe?

­­­— My Notes are my Lyfe

Dear Notes Lyfe,

Nobody likes a mooch. We’ve all been involved in enough unfortunate group projects to know that some people will always free-load off of those who are driven enough to pick up the slack. But consider the situation before rejecting these requests outright. Is it someone you know to be a serial slacker? Or an anonymous classmate who is a first-time asker? If it is the latter, award the benefit of the doubt, and share. You never know when you might need someone to return the favour. For the slacker, though, politely tell them that you have decided against sharing your notes, but offer to talk to them about the content. If they really only want you for your notes, they probably won’t take you up on the offer.


Dear Etiquette Squirrel,

Why do people think it is acceptable to come to the library sick — sneezing, coughing, sniffling — disrupt everyone, spread germs, and produce a growing pile of dirty tissues on a shared worktable?

­­­— Get your Phlegm outta my Physics

Dear Physics Phlegm,

The offenders you are describing are simply overworked university students just like the rest of us, bogged down by homework in addition to other communicable ailments. That being said, they should absolutely be cognizant of the fact that their sneezing and tissue-producing in close proximity to other students only stands to spread the misery. While you may be tempted to tell this person off, resist this urge. It will only come across as nasty, and it’s not their fault that they got sick. Instead, do your best to steer clear of the dirty tissues (seriously, humans can be gross) and move to another table. If the situation gets truly out of hand, ask the library to post more notices about using hand sanitizers and masks during cold-and-flu season.


Dear Etiquette Squirrel,

I walk up the path through UC basically every day, and squirrels are always in the way. Can I walk over them to save time?

­­­— In a Hurry

Dear Hurry,

One day your disregard for squirrels will come flying through a garbage can to bite you. Until then.

­­­­­­— ES